This Zen Master Teaches Buddhism How To Grow Up About Sex Already

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A couple years ago I got to meet Zen Master Brad Warner when he was in San Francisco doing appearances for his then-new book, Zen Wrapped in Karma and Dipped in Chocolate.

I was interviewing him for Geek Entertainment TV about the book, but as it was me, and as Brad used to have a column for softcore alt pinup site Suicide Girls, we got to talking a bit about sex and Zen Buddhism.

He told me he'd gotten a hard time from certain kinds of Zen purists for writing on such a website, but at the same time had ten times as many inquiries about sex and Zen from people trying to find answers to their questions on how sex and Zen might, could, should, or should not go together.

This, among many other compelling questions and experiences, inspired Brad to write Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between. And having read it, not even being the slightest bit Buddhist or Zen-inclined, I give it my highest review. (Disclosure: I have a review quote on the book's back cover, but that does not interfere with the way I feel compelled to communicate the way in which the book affected me and brought me healing about a number of things).

Sex, Sin, and Zen has a resonance for not just my generation, written as it is by a former punk band frontman, but also in that Brad has an uncanny way of translating our confusion about today's hyper-noise and overclocked sexual cultural atmosphere and our struggle to find a rational combination of sanity and personal pleasure. All while dealing with things like the soul-ripping experience of heartbreak and learning to be alone, while having to stay strong and be the masters of our own lives. Plus all the hypocrisy we see in the world around us -- and in the things we're trying to believe in.

Somehow, in Sex, Sin and Zen, Brad makes sense of this and gives a bit of a roadmap that you don't have to be religious to relate to.

For those who are studying Zen spiritualism, it's a refreshing look at questions about sex. You may or may not like what he has to say -- especially about the part where we're still human. Brad is a dude and a Zen Master, and that's what I loved about the writing -- he's knowingly juvenile about writing from a male perspective, and it's honest.

It's also funny. He begins with the "Piece of Ass Chant," and if that puts you off, then you should probably try even harder to read the rest of the book and look deeper into what's being layered here. And what's being stripped away.

By asking the first question in the first chapter "Are Buddhists Allowed to Jack Off?" he neatly faces questions most are unwilling to acknowledge, and swats their immaturity aside to address issues around control, devotion, purity, honesty, and yes, religion and masturbation. It's almost as if by asking the schoolyard questions in juvenile terms others won't dare to, the Zen Master teaches Buddhism how to grow up about sex already.

Sex, Sin and Zen goes far, ranging from love to porn and beyond. If the book had a weak part for me, it would be the porn star commentary, but only because it lacked interview subject variety. But that's my only criticism. Warner covers everything: celibacy, sex and compassion, Buddhism and BDSM, when Zen Masters abuse their power and influence (and go bad, actually abusing people), reconciling sex and enlightenment, Zen dating and marriage advice, Buddhism and sex work, and answering great questions like "How can I play with myself if I don't have a Self?"

Like I said to the book's publisher, whenever anyone tells me that sex is the way to hell or the path to completeness, I'm handing them this book. It's also going to all my friends who have ever had a broken heart, or have had sexual experiences backfire in their relationships. I don't think my boyfriend's purist hardcore Buddhist mom will read it, but my hope is that someday we'll both be able to at least use the book as a very colorful coaster for future peace-offering cocktails. With Zen party umbrellas which we'll make out of the chapter on Women, Evolution, and Buddhism.

You can buy Sex, Sin, and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between at your favorite local bookstores, or with Zen-like patience online at outlets such as Amazon. Follow @BradWarner on Twitter, and keep up with his blog Hardcore Zen.