Things San Franciscans Don't Like: Getting Asked To Join Greenpeace

Oh god, you've hit the nail on the head here. Greenpeace is worse than PETA and the Mormons combined.

But the attractive young women volunteers seem to be very effective at targeting lonely men. I wonder where all that money goes, anyway? Some rich CEO's pocket?

They swarm Irving and 9th all the time. I usually just say "Cant sign, I'm a felon" and walk on.

SO right on. A few weeks ago I didn't see one coming and got hooked. I tried to end the conversation multiple times but he followed me for like 5 minutes. Worst.

Greenpeace has ruined me for anyone walking around with a legitimate petition. Whenever I see anyone with a clipboard, I duck, cover and run.

I, for one, would like to see the rules against "aggressive following" enforced for these types.

Double fine if it's near a bus stop!

The ACLU people are similar with their memorized speeches that are 80% buzzwords that have been selected especially to panic the NPR crowd.

Once a Greenpeace dude walked with me FROM SECOND TO FIFTH AND MARKET as I walked back to work from lunch. When he started describing their viral videos I said (genuinely), "hey, those sound cool, it's weird because I am always on the Internet and have never heard or seen them." He got REALLY offended and stopped following me. So, when trying to get rid of a Greenpeacer, just insult their social media techniques.

Just say "I don't live around here" and keep moving. Do not offer any further explanation. It always throws the signature collectors for a loop. They really don't know how to respond to that. Do not engage these people in a conversation. They've partially won if you direct your attention to them.

The other alternative is to mumble something that sounds like it's a foreign language but isn't (i.e., don't speak in a real foreign language). Look them directly in the eye and spout out some random guttural sounds. Don't try speaking in Mandarin, Danish, or Swahili. They might actually know those languages. Just fake it.

If you're at home, just say you're eating. It doesn't matter which time it is. Don't open the door, don't promise to listen to them another day. Just leave it at, "I'm eating. Come back another day." They won't.

I usually say, in very clear English: "I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish." One of two things will happen: They'll say "oh," and look away because they have no idea what the hell just happened, or they'll start the pitch at me in Spanish for a few seconds before their brain buffer catches up with them... at which point they say "oh" and look away.

that fifth paragraph is a masterpiece.

Thanks to this post, I had a dream last night where Greenpeace was outside my office. I printed up an essay on why Greenpeace is a scam and stood next to them and handed it out to people who passed by.

@everybody...got a minute for the planet? (smile) i'm curious, would most of you be less hostile to the green peace posse, if they had dogs with em. What if they changed the name to "DOGPEACE" i'm just saying....Seriously, those folks at the frontline are there because they have passion for OUR 1 little planet. The one little planet who is having problems keeping up with our wastefull demands. Next time you have a unwanted encounter, simply smile and say very firmly: "Thanks for your efforts, but NO im not interested, i'm NOT signing anything, and i'm done with this conversation PERIOD." take a sip of your grande cup of Crackbucks coffee and keep it movin. Trust me it works. I use this technique in NYC with great results.

marc by marc by marc, by walgreens......heelarious....Drink a glass of Seal tears...LMAO....