Things San Franciscans Like: These Boots

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If there is one thing that unites the women of San Francisco it is their unabashed love for the 'Intyce' boot by Steven by Steve Madden.

Mr. Madden (a man I think we would all like to meet) seems to think that by replacing Steve with Steven he will be able to attract an older, more sophisticated crowd to these boots: the Barbie, to Steve's Skipper, the Hello Adult Cat to his Hello Kitty.

Steven was right. Be it the rich leather, the wrapped 1 ¼" wedge heel, or the adjustable buckle - "That donut went straight to my calves." - San Francisco's females are indeed intyced.

The Intyce comes in three exquisite colors each with its own lively personality. By far the most popular shade on our streets is the cognac, a woody shade that brings to mind a crisp autumn day in Civic Center and pigeons chasing each other gleefully around a piece of bread.

But in truth the cognac is an all-seasons boot, and is best worn by an all-seasons girl. Someone with basically attainable dreams and the kind of optimistic mind that doesn't need to ruminate too deeply over what happened at the Muni stop this morning. Some wheelchairs just aren't supposed to fit, and that is that. Is that a cinnamon raisin holiday bagel latte?!

The black boot is slightly less common, and also more likely to be mistaken for some other kind of black boot that is not the Intyce. The types of San Franciscans who wear the black can be divided into two categories: people who wear their boots over their jeans and are not from San Francisco, and people who wear their boots over their jeans and are from San Francisco.

The difference is that the first group looks vaguely like Kim Kardashian, and the second looks like other people who are not part of the Kardashian family. One of the best things about the Intyce (besides everything) is their nice wide circumference, which allows all manner of things from skinny jeans and sweatpants (stylish, but not trying too hard), to kittens to be tucked into them. "What is that meowing?" "It's Hello Boot Kitty!"

The third and scarcest color of all is the gray. What kind of woman wears the gray Intyce? None. If they accidentally bought it they exchanged it within two days for the cognac and thanked heaven for Nordstrom's liberal return policy.

Ed note: When Ramona filed this, she noted that "this one is niche" but that "Everyone in San Francisco owns these boots. Once you know what they look like you will start seeing them EVERYWHERE." Do they? Will I? I thought, as I headed to out for coffee. And, sure enough, at 7:23 on a Wednesday morning, someone wearing those boots was in front of me in line at far Outer Funset hotspot Java Beach. I will never question Ramona again! -- EB